On the Wit and Wisdom of Fortune Cookies (In Bed)

Today Michael and I ran some errands and found ourselves in downtown Indy for longer than expected, and so Michael introduced me to the delights of Panda Express. How I went 26 years without being aware of its cheapy-goodness, I will never know. After glutting ourselves on lots of orange chicken and fried rice, we busted into our fortune cookies (simultaneously; I've always insisted on that, and somehow it's a completely ubiquitous tradition. Anyone else follow this?). Anyhow, my fortune was about someone running me off the road with a semi, or some nonsense. Michael's fortune was a little more amusing:
"Spring has sprung. New life is blooming!"

He read it aloud to me, and then eyed me suspiciously. "Are you pregnant?"