A long time ago, when someone once asked me why I loved the Midwest so, why I wanted to live there so much, I replied "The anonymity." The idea of living in Middle America, just one among millions, with nothing special to recommend me above my neighbors and fellow citizens, was absolutely appealing to me. Still is, really.
Funnily enough, I have achieved that anonymity in the blogosphere. I am merely one among many, and while my blog presence is by no means hidden, it is nonetheless unnoticed, surrounded as it is by the meta-presence of millions of others. I know, with absolute certainty, of only two people who read these words. One is my sister. (Hi, Eldest!) The other...ah, well.
The other.
In a way, it's rather reassuring; no matter how "below the radar" and unnoticed I am in the blogosphere, I can always be certain that my stalker (otherwise known as the Baby Mama Drama Llama) is reading, and then unsubtly critiquing my perfectly satisfactory life in her semi-incoherent blog. How do I know this? Of course I read her blog; it's like watching a train wreck. That is, if a train wreck were grammatically incorrect, filled with run-on sentences and sentence fragments, poorly spelled, and in dire need of punctuation. I repeat, it's like watching a train wreck...but the only victim is the English language.
The Elements of Fucking Style would have a field day with her. No doubt.
(Backstory: Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama is the ex-girlfriend to my ex-boyfriend, Mr. Indiana. I dated Mr. Indiana, we broke up--a couple of times, heh--we both moved on; me to my husband, Mr. Indiana to Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama. When he discovered her to be a compulsive liar, he tried to cut his losses and move on, but then she got pregnant and...well, you know how that happens. End result being, Mr. Indiana now has an adorable, delightful son and Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama tries to hang on to Mr. Indiana. Through it all, Mr. Indiana and I have remained good friends, and Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama has never been thrilled with this. One time, when I went to Indiana to visit Mr. Indiana, along with my now-husband--then boyfriend--Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama was, reportedly, convinced that we were flying out there for a three-way.)
From what I can tell, to the Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama, the online life ain't worth livin' if you ain't engaging in flame wars, circa 2003. Who knows? Maybe she's right. But thankfully, my Real Life takes precedence over my online life. Frankly, I am too busy to respond to her attempts to negate my existence. And when I am not busy, I am lazy. And let's face it, being passive aggressive (even as obviously as Crazy Baby Mama Drama Llama) and negative just takes way too much effort. And so, in the past, I have forborne from responding to her attempts to poke me out of my complacent online presence. It brings me down to her level, and all that.
The only reason I am breaking the habit of three years is because frankly, I begin to find her a little bit like an annoying fruitfly. Or maybe some other sort of household pest that, while fairly insignificant, still diminishes the value of the home. The existence of her blog, as a vehicle through which she can attack me, is a poor reflection not only on herself, but on the blogosphere as a whole. Her words don't hurt me, but they do annoy me.
There is, of course, a glaringly obvious solution: Stop reading her blog! Well, of course. But I prefer tackle a problem from more than one angle, and in addition to stepping away from her brand of crazy, I think it might also help if I simply removed the fuel from her fire. Bottom line? A part of me is thinking about picking up sticks and moving on from this blog. I'm thinking of setting up shop elsewhere, kinda like the blogging version of Witness Protection. If she can't find my blog, she can't read it. If she can't read it, she can't write about me and try to sanctimoniously point how pointless she perceives my life to be. She'll have to find other stuff to talk about. Hopefully, with better grammar. Of course, it would be easy enough for her to find me. But if my life and my blog matter that much to her, well, that's a pretty big stalker issue she's got there. However, in moving on and away from here, I will be free from her...and she will be free of me.
Of course, maybe I'm just tired of this blog, and think it's time to move on to something else. But I'd like to move on without her. Her baggage is not my problem. And my blog should not exist to as a way for her to try to tear anyone down.
I'm not going anywhere just yet. But I'll let you know when I do.
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