101 Things

1. I hated every minute of it.
2. I had this dream that if I lived in a state that had seasons, in a nice split-level house, with two parents, that
3. I grew up in Daytona Beach, Florida
4. everything would be just dandy.
5. My maternal grandparents raised me from the time I was 10.
6. I have two sisters, and I am the baby. They will never let me forget this.
7. I studied at Newnham College, at Cambridge University, for three weeks when I was 19.
8. I love to read.
9. I believe whole-heartedly that it is my body, and no one has the right to decide what happens to it.
10. I also believe there should be a constitutional amendment protecting the institution of marriage by defining it as something in which ANYONE, of ANY sexual persuasion, can partake.
11. I believe in taxes.
12. I loved high school.
13. Wherever I visit, I like to traipse around and take pictures of old buildings.
14. I listen to Def Leppard.
15. I don’t know how to ride a bike.
16. I love, love, love making lists.
17. I am very adept at losing lists as soon as I make them.
18. One of my dreams is to live in an apartment with hardwood floors, a poky kitchen, a fireplace, and a clawfoot tub, and lots of built-in shelves
19. Another one of my dreams is to live in this apartment in Boston or London or Seattle
20. I wouldn’t try Chinese food until I was 19 years old
21. I would totally bear Jon Stewart’s children
22. I don’t know how to ride a bike.
23. I can turn my eyelids inside out.
24. I do not get motion sickness of any kind
25. I love getting stuff in the mail
26. Seeing old people dining or grocery shopping alone makes me incredibly sad.
27. I have mild backne
28. When I was five, my favorite insult was “dumb-dumb facehead”
29. When I was six, I was in love with Danger Mouse. I didn’t understand why a girl and a mouse could not live happily ever after.
30. When I was eight, I decided to write “The Bad Word Newspaper”.
31. My mother thought this was a riot.
32. When I was eleven, I wanted to be in the Baby-sitter’s Club.
33. When I was fourteen, I was convinced that if I had enough Bongo jeans and No Fear t-shirts, I would be part of the cool crowd.
34. When I was fifteen, I realized how stupid that was. I would never be part of the cool crowd. And Bongo jeans were fugly.
35. When I was sixteen, I thought I was on the road to becoming a Poet Laureate of some county.
36. I am really, really, really pissed off at Michael Brown.
37. My eyes are slightly uneven.
38. I disapprove of Wal-Mart with a fanatic intensity.
39. Christmas is my favorite holiday.
40. If I had to be an insect, I would be a cricket, because they continue singing even in the darkest part of the night.
41. I not-so-secretly envy housecats.
42. I was a born-again Christian for three years of my life.
43. And then the Christian in me died.
44. I love thunderstorms. And rain.
45. Autumn is my favorite season, and then winter.
46. I have not had cable television in five years.
47. I am an organizing fool—I love to file, organize, and clean.
48. I hate doing laundry.
49. I believe it’s better to be hated for who you are then loved for who you aren’t.
50. I read Dickens for fun.
51. I like very clicky keyboards.
52. I am a sucker for mysterious, gruff, hero characters in novels and movies.
53. I have survived two hurricanes, two tropical storms, and a tornado.
54. I have a secret fear of becoming trailer trash.
55. I snort when I laugh.
56. I feel the need to snack when I read. This does not help me to maintain my ideal weight.
57. I burp very, very loudly. But only when I drink soda.
58. I love roller coasters and water parks.
59. Another goal of mine is to work in a job where I can wear an eyebrow ring—and then get my eyebrow pierced.
60. I did not have friends until I was 12 years old.
61. A knitting blog changed my life.
62. I love mint chocolate chip ice cream, but only if it is green. If it is not green, I will not eat it.
63. The older I get, the more important family becomes to me.
64. I love make-up.
65. I am not particularly skilled at applying it.
66. If I could, I would lounge around in pajamas all day long. I lovelovelove pajamas
67. If I had to live in any era of history, and do something in particular, I would live in Victorian England and be a bluestocking.
68. I am NOT a risk-taker.
69. I used to cry regularly in gym class.
70. When I go to the beauty salon to get my hair dyed, the stylist ALWAYS runs out of my dye and has to send out for more. I have a deceptively enormous head of hair.
71. I like to eat out WAY too much
72. Among certain circles, I am known as “The Hot-tub Hottie.” This is my one wild college-years story.
73. If I were not a librarian, I would restore Victorian and Arts-and-Crafts bungalows for a living. Or be the proprietor of a witchcraft supply store.
74. You know those people, the ones that always look perfectly put together and in control of their lives? The ones that never have to root around in their purse for anything? The ones whose shoes are never scuffed, whose nail polish is never chipped, who aren’t clumsy and just exude that something? Yeah, that’s not me.
75. I really, really wish I were one of those people.
76. Sometimes I think I might go to law school some day.
77. I can daydream so well, I could make it into an Olympic sport. There should be mental Olympics.
78. I love to travel.
79. I love returning home even more.
80. I hatehatehate the sound of Styrofoam
81. I love to pluck my eyebrows
82. When I drink, I sometimes get into intellectual snubbing matches with conventionally-cute boys. This is often like shooting fish in a barrel.
83. It doesn’t matter how depressed or bummed I might be, watching re-runs of Friends will always make me feel at least a tiny, tiny bit better.
84. I love to buy gifts for people.
85. I have nightmares about tornadoes at least once a week.
86. I try to keep my watch ahead by at least five minutes
87. I have inhuman stamina when it comes to driving on road trips. It’s kind of freakish.
88. I have two sisters, and according to almost everyone, we could be triplets.
89. I cannot dance. I think it’s something in my genes.
90. In the past, when men have asked me for my number, I have sometimes given them the number 867-5309.
91. I’ve also told men that I was a lesbian. This was more effective than you might think.
92. I look really, really good in hats.
93. I love surprise parties.
94. The only surprise party anyone has ever thrown for me was one that I was duped into planning myself.
95. I have a deep and abiding love for Toyota cars.
96. I love watching fireflies
97. I have been known to do Christmas shopping in July.
98. I am from the South, and I believe in hospitality and good conversational skills. If I come into your home and you have not asked me how I am doing and offered me something to drink within the first three minutes, I will maybe hate you forever.
99. When it’s late at night and I hear strange noises in the apartment, I put on Spice World to make me feel better.
100. When I was fourteen, I watched Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves every night for two months.
101. I like memes. Because I am essentially a self-absorbed person, and they are a good way to vent the self-absorption without forcing people to listen. You read this list of your own free will.