You Don't Know How Lucky You Are...

It's another hot night here in Sunnydale, California. Most days, it gets 'way over 100 degrees, and I cannot remember the last time I wasn't hot. The humid summers of Florida, with thunderstorms and tree frogs, and the hazy, firefly-illuminated summers of Indiana are so far behind me, I may as well have dreamed them up. It's almost as though they never happened, as though these sunny times in Southern California are all that ever was, or ever will be.

Work is exhausting and draining, but I love it. I really, really love it--I love my patrons, I love helping them, I love that I have learned so much in the past three weeks. I come home at night, hot and sweaty and really, really tired. I don't talk or socialize much outside of work--I come home, make chit-chat to the cats, and sing along with Dar Williams. She's given me a lot of courage this year. I'm alone, for the most part, shrouded in solitude, but I am not lonely. Homesick, yes, incredibly homesick. But not lonely.

The other evening, I found out that one of my friends got a library job in my dream library, in my dream city. She's going to go off and be a fantabulous librarian in Seattle, and it's no more or less than what she has worked hard for, and earned. But when I found out, all of a sudden I was transported back to that rainy weekend I spent there, back in March. I fell in love with Seattle, instantaneously. It felt so right--the crowds, the rain, the clouds, the architecture, the funky-cool atmosphere. My friend Deshka took me all over the city, and we had the most incredible time in the world. I did an interview with the library, and it was draining and scary, but so incredible.

Now Deshka has moved on, and so have I. And another of my friends is going to live and work there, and I am here in hot, sunny Sunnydale. A long way from home, a long way from Seattle, too. But yet, right where I should be. I have folks all over the country rooting for me. I have some very happy patrons. I have two kittens that try to get into the shower with me. I have Dar Williams, and I've got myself. I have this moment, and I can tell you that this here, this moment, this is happiness. I am an incredibly lucky, lucky girl.
"And whether or not it is clear to you,
no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should."
-Max Ehrmann

Congratulations, Sneaky Panda. I think you and Seattle are going to go great together.